The Importance of Texting Less and Talking More
A Quote for the Ages
Clinical psychologist Catherine Steiner-Adair said it best, “…Texting is the worst possible training ground for anyone aspiring to a mature, loving, sensitive relationship.”
Pay attention here.
Texting is not just a substandard training ground for human connectedness. Nor is it just a low-quality training ground.
Rather, if our desire is to have a functional and healthy relationship with another human being, texting is the worst possible option.
Here’s Why This Matters
On an average day, the typical adult will send or receive 10-20 texts. A heavier texter will send or receive about 100 texts per day. And teens and young adults will send or receive somewhere in the neighborhood of 200+ texts per day.
Now, do the math.
If you are sending/receiving, let’s say, 50 texts a day, it equates to almost 12,000 texts in an average work year (50 texts x 225 working days in a year).
Now, let’s say you work in an organization of 100 people who do the same. That’s more than a million texts being sent and received in a typical year.
Think about it.
All of these texts—every single one of them—replaces a conversation and a face-to-face interaction.
And this is exactly what’s happening.
In fact, the American Time Use Survey now reveals that adults now spend 30% less time socializing face-to-face compared to 20 years ago. What’s worse, it’s nearly a 50% decrease for teenagers.
3 Ways Texting Harms Relationships
1. Texting reduces the quality of our interactions.
Texting often reduces conversations to brief, fragmented exchanges, lacking the depth and nuance of face-to-face or even phone conversations. This can hinder the development of strong emotional bonds and meaningful connections.
2. Texting removes non-verbal cues.
It should come as no surprise that texting removes the essential elements of human interaction like facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, and eye contact. These non-verbal cues play a crucial role in conveying emotions and intentions, and their absence can lead to misinterpretations.
3. Texting hurts feelings.
When you can’t see someone’s face or hear their voice, it’s a whole lot easier to misinterpret messages. What was meant to be a lighthearted joke can come across as hurtful or insensitive, leading to unnecessary conflict. This can be particularly damaging in close relationships where trust and understanding are vital.
Here’s What You Can Do
If you are looking to stem the tide of texting and create better relationships, here’s a simple approach.
Send your contact list a quick, concise message that reads something like this:
“Trying to limit screen time, so texting will be less frequent. Call to chat!”
Or in the case of a work relationship, it could read something like this:
“To ensure that we are always on the same page, phone calls are preferred over text discussions. Please call if you need to reach me—and I will do the same.”
The key here is to avoid ambiguity by being kind, clear, and concise.
By establishing clear expectations when it comes to texting, not only will you be less distracted, but you’ll also reap the rewards of better, more functional relationships because you’ll be engaging in actual conversations.
Leading with LIGHT
As Leaders of LIGHT, we understand the joy of having meaningful relationships.
The kind of relationships that make us smile brighter, laugh louder, and live better. The kind of relationships where that special everyday magic happens. The kind of relationships that confirm that we are investing our time, talents, and treasures in a way that truly makes a difference.
We also know that great relationships require hard work, careful attention, and face-to-face interaction.
Nothing can ever replace the importance of spending time with another human being.
This week, be different.
Take the road less traveled.
Instead of texting, pick up the phone.
Instead of texting, meet face-to-face.
Instead of texting, make the commitment to see light, be light, and spread light.
The world (your world!) will be better because of it.
Until next time, See LIGHT, Be LIGHT, Spread LIGHT!
Until Next Time...
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About Lead with Light
Lead with Light is an initiative that aims to equip current and emerging leaders with a reimagined approach to servant leadership.
Our ultimate vision is to grow and develop thousands of Leaders of Light to ignite a movement to see light, be light, and spread light in ways only each can.