Still Face: What Mothers and Infants Can Teach Us About Leading With LIGHT
As A Leader Of LIGHT, Here’s A Study Worth Paying Attention To.
Entitled “Still Face,” Tronick’s research methodology was insanely simple.
Here’s how author Peg Streep describes it.
A baby is seated facing her mother and the mother is talking, smiling, and making eye contact.
Not surprisingly, the infant responds by vocalizing, smiling back, and pointing at things in the room.
Now here’s where things get interesting.
After just three minutes of playful interaction, the mother is instructed to turn away from the child.
Then, when she turns back toward the infant, the mother is instructed to maintain a still, unsmiling, and emotionless expression.
Heartbreakingly, the baby goes into overdrive to reengage her or his mother, doing all the things that have previously garnered a lot of positive attention.
But all this is to no avail. And mom is instructed to hold her pose.
What you then see on the video is distressing.
When the infant realizes that, while Mommy is there, she’s also somehow gone, the child begins to meltdown.
The child looks away, she waves her arms in protest, slumps in the seat.
And then she begins to wail.
It’s only at this point that the mother relaxes her face and starts interacting with the infant again, trying to re-establish and repair the connection.
However, and it’s worth noting here, that the baby is now wary and guarded. In fact, it takes a good bit of time for the child to completely recover.
What’s even more interesting about this study is that it remains one of the most replicated findings in all of developmental psychology.
What This Study Means For Leaders of LIGHT.
Although this study was conducted primarily between mothers and children, the implications for Leaders of LIGHT are clear.
As Leaders of LIGHT, our job is to bring out the very best in others. To do this, we need to be fully present.
But what does it really mean (in an age of word salad!) to be “fully present?”
The 5 Characteristics of a Fully Present Leader.
Put Simply:
#1: Fully Present Leaders Clear the Decks.
They neutralize any and all distractions so that 100% of their time can be focused on interacting with another human being.
#2: Fully Present Leaders Listen Carefully.
They look others in the eyes, lean in, and ask great questions. And they listen (as opposed to thinking about what they are going to say while the other person is still speaking)!
#3: Fully Present Leaders Practice Empathy.
Said differently, fully present leaders literally “put themselves in other’s shoes.” And they work hard to see things from the other person’s perspective.
#4: Fully Present Leaders React Visually.
Not only do fully present leaders make it a point to respond with care and compassion, but they find ways to connect visually. They smile. They nod their heads. They show interest. They engage.
#5: Fully Present Leaders Respond Positively.
Communicating with confidence, clarity, poise and positivity are the hallmarks of a fully present leader!
The Benefits of Being Fully Present
When leaders are fully present, a whole host of good things happen.
Benefit #1: Long-term relationships are built.
Who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a leader who gives them their full attention and treats them with respect and care?
Benefit #2: Synchrony emerges.
“Synchrony” is that magical moment where both the leader and other person find themselves in the zone. Conversation comes easy. The topics are interesting. When one person is breathing in, the other is breathing out.
This is also known as flow. And if you’ve ever experienced it in conversation, it’s GLORIOUS.
Benefit #3: Synergy occurs.
Put simply, synergy occurs when both parties come to the realization that they are stronger, more creative, and better together.
Benefit #4: Health and well-being improves.
When leaders are fully present, health and well-being (for both parties!) improves by leaps and bounds. Stress is reduced. Happiness is increased. Focus is maximized.
So, What Does All This Have To Do With The “Still Face” Study?
Good question.
When you (as a Leader of LIGHT!) aren’t fully present with others (e.g., you are on your phone, looking at your computer screen, or you are thinking about something else) you get “still face.”
And just like the impact that “still face” has on children, it has an eerily similar kind of impact on the people in your charge.
Said differently, when you aren’t fully present in the company of others, your face becomes emotionless.
In turn, this can cause distress for the people who are looking to you for leadership and guidance.
Intuitively, this makes sense because a leader’s face, their expressions, and their presence profoundly impact the disposition(s) of others.
For example, a calm, engaged, and/or positive facial expression fosters trust, safety, and high morale.
On the other hand, a distant, non-emotive, or negative look can profoundly diminish motivation and even induce dread and create toxic environments among the people under your care.
What’s worse, when your “still face” impacts one person, they are likely to tell others about the encounter.
Emotional contagion can soon follow.
Smart Leaders Don’t Bring Smart Phones to Meetings.
Because smart leaders fully understand the impact of “still face,” they never bring smart phones to meetings.
Period. Paragraph.
Never forget, every single time you are on your phone in the presence of another human being, your face becomes expressionless.
And from there, the race to the bottom is on.
Leading with LIGHT
Although most (yes, most) leaders don’t fully understand the impact of “still face,” they should.
Every word, every facial expression, every gesture, and every action on the part of a leader sends a message to all those who are in attendance.
In fact, your facial expressions tell others they matter—or they don’t.
They tell others they are valued, or they aren’t.
They tell others they are special, or they’re not.
From this day forward, as of Leader of LIGHT, make it point to be fully present.
Put your phone away.
Close your laptop.
Clear your mind.
And then zero-in on the gift that it is sitting right in front you.
If you do, the sky’s the limit.
Until next time, See LIGHT, Be LIGHT, and Spread LIGHT.
Until Next Time...
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About Lead with Light
Lead with Light is an initiative that aims to equip current and emerging leaders with a reimagined approach to servant leadership.
Our ultimate vision is to grow and develop thousands of Leaders of Light to ignite a movement to see light, be light, and spread light in ways only each can.