Conquering Criticism
Criticism Doesn’t Have to Hurt
As a Leader of LIGHT, your job is to sell the dream.
And not just a dream, the dream.
The kind of dream that breathes life and energy into people.
The kind of dream that inspires people to voluntarily abandon their comfort zones and take risks.
The kind of dream that ignites passion and transforms organizations.
But here’s the catch:
To sell big dreams, you’ll need to challenge the status quo.
And anytime you do that, you can expect immediate, unvarnished, and unfiltered feedback.
Think about it.
In any given moment, people have two options: to step forward into growth or to step backward into safety.
So, when it comes to implementing BHAGs (Big, Hairy, Audacious, Goals), the real question is this:
Do you, as a Leader of LIGHT, have the chops to deal with the feedback so that your people can begin their journey toward a better tomorrow?
5 Ways to Conquer Criticism
Frank Sonnenberg said it best, “Criticism turns good into better, and better into best.”
With this in mind, here are five ways to conquer criticism:
Conquering Criticism #1: Get Your Mindset Right
Here’s what most people don’t understand about the whole notion of being criticized: the word originates from the Latin root criticus and carries with it the idea of being examined by a physician when something’s not quite right.
So, in essence, when you’re being criticized, it’s like opening yourself up to a thorough medical examination.
Just like in any thorough medical examination, your doctor is going to shine a light on everything that’s not quite right and then they’re going to tell you the things you should be doing differently.
If your mindset isn’t right, the message being delivered can make you feel like you’ve been negligent—or worse yet, that you’re a bad person!
But the fact of the matter is this: you desperately need this feedback to get better.
And this should be our mindset each and every time we’re criticized—not only by our healthcare provider, but from everyone around us.
And here’s a bonus.
The best way to do this is to seek out criticism before it comes to you. You can do this by asking people to “poke holes” in your ideas and dreams and to tell you all the reasons it can’t work.
By doing this, not only do you get smarter, but people feel like they’re actually part of the process!
Conquering Criticism #2: Lean-In
The second key to conquering criticism (with grace and dignity) is to lean in.
Here’s how you can get this done.
First, don’t take it personally.
One of the keys to surviving in life is maintaining the mindset that there will be lots of learning experiences—and learning experiences are what allow us to mature and grow.
Remind yourself that this interaction is just one more opportunity that’s going to help you to get to the next level.
Second, avoid defensiveness at all costs.
Time and again, researchers have documented that a leader’s instinctual reaction to even the smallest criticism is to push back.
Big mistake.
This is where you, as a Leader of LIGHT, have the opportunity to be different.
Here’s our suggestion: Take a deep breath, lean in, and welcome–with open arms–the interaction.
It’s as simple, and as hard, as that.
Conquering Criticism #3: Listen Intently
This strategy is similar to the previous one, but it takes things to an entirely different level.
Here’s how.
Leadership guru Simon Sinek puts it this way:
“Listening is not understanding the words being asked, listening is understanding why the words are being said in the first place.”
Said differently, your job as a leader is to uncover the meaning behind the words.
Ask for clarification. Dig deeper. Paraphrase. Don’t be afraid to ask for solutions. And for the love of all that’s good, never, ever, ever multitask when you are receiving feedback from another person. (If you do, you may never get a second chance.)
Conquering Criticism #4: Separate Your Self-Worth From What’s Being Said
Never forget, feedback equals growth.
The more feedback and criticism you can embrace, the faster you’ll grow.
And perhaps the best way to keep the whole “criticism thing” healthy is to constantly remind yourself that you are (and will be until the day you take your last breath) a work in progress.
Don’t get so wrapped up in your work that you lose yourself. Enjoy the feedback process. Own it. Embrace the experience. Ride the wave.
After all, that’s where the fun is (Thanks, Manfred Mann!).
Conquering Criticism #5: The Words “Thank You” and “I’m Sorry” Go A Long Way
If your goal is to accomplish big things, be prepared to experience both creative and emotional tension—it’s all part of the deal.
But each individual interaction presents an opportunity to establish strong relationships and long-lasting partnerships.
Write heartfelt follow-up notes. Touch base. Check in.
Use the experience to not only get stronger, but to make a friend for life.
Leading with LIGHT
Remember, as a Leader of LIGHT, you are different.
You want the best for people and you want the best from people.
To do this, you’ll need to conquer criticism with civility, kindness, forgiveness, and a love for all.
It’s the only way you will genuinely and legitimately get to the next level.
Never forget: criticism doesn’t have to hurt.
In fact, if you employ the suggestions in this newsletter, you will find that criticism will be one of the most powerful experiences for both personal and professional growth.
Until next time, See LIGHT, Be LIGHT, Spread LIGHT!
Until Next Time...
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Conquering Criticism
As a Leader of LIGHT, your job is to sell the dream. And not just a dream, the dream.
About Lead with Light
Lead with Light is an initiative that aims to equip current and emerging leaders with a reimagined approach to servant leadership.
Our ultimate vision is to grow and develop thousands of Leaders of Light to ignite a movement to see light, be light, and spread light in ways only each can.